Negrodamus's Articles
July 26, 2004 by Negrodamus
" Guess who back in the motherfuckin house
With a fat dick for your motherfuckin mouth"
Come on, take a guess. Today I got to visit the local electronics superstore. I had to get my car fixed and decided to wait so I walked over to the store. Any way I was playing the display PS2 (Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow, good shit) When I spot a couple in my peripheral vision. (In real life not the game). They were a late fifties looking white couple sampling some of the smaller home stereos with th...
July 26, 2004 by Negrodamus
" Guess who back in the motherfuckin house
With a fat dick for your motherfuckin mouth"
Come on, take a guess. Today I got to visit the local electronics superstore. I had to get my car fixed and decided to wait so I walked over to the store. Any way I was playing the display PS2 (Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow, good shit) When I spot a couple in my peripheral vision. (In real life not the game). They were a late fifties looking white couple sampling some of the smaller home stereos with th...
July 25, 2004 by Negrodamus
Today was another fine day at the office. Good work was done. Gay jokes were made,

ND: come on just give it to me.

SPC Harry Backster: NO, because if I do you'll just try to stick it in my throat.

Pseudosoldier giggles.

It is true that jabbing Spc Backster in the throat with a fork had been my morning medicine up to that point. So you see why I needed it back.
Great job to those who did the thing in the place today with your hand figuritively tied behind your backs. (You know who y...
July 25, 2004 by Negrodamus
Today was another fine day at the office. Good work was done. Gay jokes were made,

ND: come on just give it to me.

SPC Harry Backster: NO, because if I do you'll just try to stick it in my throat.

Pseudosoldier giggles.

It is true that jabbing Spc Backster in the throat with a fork had been my morning medicine up to that point. So you see why I needed it back.
Great job to those who did the thing in the place today with your hand figuritively tied behind your backs. (You know who y...
July 24, 2004 by Negrodamus
kiwis can not fly
seven days straight in the pit
laserbeams bubba!
July 24, 2004 by Negrodamus
I am institutionalized. I didn't mention it before for fear of the Bad Karma Cloud, but I am getting off active duty. I am going into theGreen to Gold program after a full year off scheming, planning, and K-niving. This will ultimately make me an officer (todd help us all). I think my time in the army has been well spent but am looking foward to the change. However I can already sence that something will be terribly missed by getting out of the military. For the past year I have made every effor...
July 19, 2004 by Negrodamus
A couple of months after the tequila incident (my girlfriend, Greywar, and I went out to dinner. It was good food and during the meal we had a few beers. Actually, I only had 2 but I am a lightweight so I got a buzz anyway. Its true that I am quit possibly the cheapest date on the planet as I cannot tolerate even a modest amount of alcohol. Greywar on the other hand has a level of tolerance that is as far as I can tell unreachable. He is quite simply invulnerable to the effects of alcohol. So th...
July 14, 2004 by Negrodamus
OK here's the deal. I want. . . no, I need to build a siege engine. And fast. Its not that I think the end is near or that I think I'll
need it at all. It's just that well, the idea is in my head and theres only one cure for that when it comes to me. I have to build a
siege engine. The problem is that the expert on the subject( you know who you are) is being less than helpfull. Besides, I haven't really decided which engine is best for an urban/suburban setting. So, consider this a ransom n...
July 14, 2004 by Negrodamus
OK here's the deal. I want. . . no, I need to build a siege engine. And fast. Its not that I think the end is near or that I think I'll
need it at all. It's just that well, the idea is in my head and theres only one cure for that when it comes to me. I have to build a
siege engine. The problem is that the expert on the subject( you know who you are) is being less than helpfull. Besides, I haven't really decided which engine is best for an urban/suburban setting. So, consider this a ransom n...
July 14, 2004 by Negrodamus
In case you are not . . .the quickest. I am black. And as such I like chrome rims on cars. Big, fucking shiny, chrome rims. Patterned rims. Colored rims. Rims that light up. And I do not care what kind of car they're on either. Some people think only nice cars should have nice rims. I say fuck that. I'll accept chrome on any car. New or old. Big or small. With the exception of course being my cars.
Huh!? You got it, only a real pipe head would pay over $1000 dollars to lower the performan...
July 13, 2004 by Negrodamus
I was just going to write a nice little spiel about the dire need for deodorant/antiperspirant made for scrotums. Here in Texas,

where it is usually hotter than a devil's balls, it is bound to cross ones mind. "Man, my sack needs deodorant. Yep, some D for my

balls." However, while doing my presearch (all me) I developed the suspicion that I am not the only one who has thought of this

and yearned for it to come to be. I have read several accounts. (or um . . . none) but I have su...
July 13, 2004 by Negrodamus
ND: Hey, anyone, have you seen the nozzle for this.

Anyone: ( in their smarmiest voice) You like playing with nozzles, do ya?

I endure (and inflict) many exchanges such as this everyhour of every day.

ND: Do you guys have any duct tape.

Anyone: Why? You and your male roommate decide to spice things up?

You see we cannot talk about ANYTHING without it suddenly and without warning turning to gay sex. It is simply innevitable that

we will end up on the topic of gayity soo...
July 12, 2004 by Negrodamus
I am an army of one. So, while serving in Korea I had occasion to visit the Central Issue Facility (CIF). How this works is you get to a unit and they send you to a ware house to get things like LBELink, Kevlar helmet,Link, cold weather boots and many other items some of which you may keep and some you must give back when you leave that duty assignment. Now should one of these items be flawed, defective, or infested you may return it. This is called a DX (or dee ex since I have no idea what it s...
July 12, 2004 by Negrodamus
I am an army of one. So, while serving in Korea I had occasion to visit the Central Issue Facility (CIF). How this works is you get to a unit and they send you to a ware house to get things like LBELink, Kevlar helmet,Link, cold weather boots and many other items some of which you may keep and some you must give back when you leave that duty assignment. Now should one of these items be flawed, defective, or infested you may return it. This is called a DX (or dee ex since I have no idea what it s...
July 12, 2004 by Negrodamus
Don't read this. It will be a waste of your time. Seriously. However, if you are so self loathing as to insist on reading this thing, buckle up. I make no promise of and have a stinking suspicion that there will be a notable lack of the following: correct speling, proper chronology, logic, political correctness, sobriety while writing, and humility. I do, however, surmise that those of you unwise enough to continue will be subjected to rants, put downs, "nut job" theories (all of which ar...