why does it gotta be gay?
ND: Hey, anyone, have you seen the nozzle for this.
Anyone: ( in their smarmiest voice) You like playing with nozzles, do ya?
I endure (and inflict) many exchanges such as this everyhour of every day.
ND: Do you guys have any duct tape.
Anyone: Why? You and your male roommate decide to spice things up?
You see we cannot talk about ANYTHING without it suddenly and without warning turning to gay sex. It is simply innevitable that
we will end up on the topic of gayity sooner or later. And when we get there the tone is usually acusatory.
"My shins are killing me"
"That, my friend, because you are a cock gobblin"
You see, the military is a sizzling hot bed of homoeroticism . . . filled to the brim (insert gay joke here) with men, sausage, guys,
dudes. So, here we are stuck in a situation of being where no man can even truthfully make the claim "I've never showered in a
room full of nude men!" And we all act like little homophobes. So you ask "Why not just not bring it up at all?"
I'll tell you why. My co-workers and I cannot resist the opportunity to make each other uncomfortable by forcing disturbing immagery
and/or situations into each others minds. For most men the idea of themselves in an extremely gay, sexual, and perhaps illegal situations
does the trick. We have done it so much for so long that it has become second nature.
ND: I'm gonna give PVT Lankey his CD back.
Pseudosoldier: Not in here you aren't.
ND: Yes, of course in here.
We went back and forth for a bit about the legality and morality of the aforementiond CD exchange. then it got gay.
ND: I bet I can give him the CD no problem!
Pseudosoldier: You can give him your 8 inch black cock for all I care!!!! I'm just saying. Not that that's the correct length. not that I
know first hand.
ND: Why's it gotta be gay?