Rule # 4

no trading undies

Published on July 12, 2004 By Negrodamus In Humor

I am an army of one. So, while serving in Korea I had occasion to visit the Central Issue Facility (CIF). How this works is you get to a unit and they send you to a ware house to get things like LBELink, Kevlar helmet, Link, cold weather boots and many other items some of which you may keep and some you must give back when you leave that duty assignment. Now should one of these items be flawed, defective, or infested you may return it. This is called a DX (or dee ex since I have no idea what it stands for) and is what brought me, SFC Scraper (platoon sergeant), and several others to the CIF on the day in question. In Korea it gets very cold in November. Very meaning balls the size of raisins, blistering, arctic, no reason to go on living, fuck all. Anyway it was polypro weather Link, and mine did not fit. So I tried to exchange them and was met with refusal in the form of a very small very angry Korean man whose very being seemed to depend on my NOT getting polypros that fit. ND: I need to exchange these. Angry K: NO! ND: But they don't fit. Angry K: NO! ND: Why not I need them. Angry K: NO USED ONE! ND: But they were issued to ME used!!! SFC Scraper: What's the problem here!? ND: They won't take them back SFC Scraper: Why not? ND: They're used. At this point a SpringerLink worthy shouting match reiterates each parties concerns before the Angry Korean took the polys threw the down and said "YOU GO SEE RULE NUMBER 4!!!" I shut up, blinked and turned to SFC Scraper. ND: What the Fuck is rule # 4. SFC: I have no clue. The Angry K seeing our confusion pointed upstairs. We, feeling defeated, walked upward where in the fourth room down a large black man thereafter referred to as Rule # 4 was waiting to offer rational discourse and a new set of polypro long johns.

Comments

greywar

on Jul 13, 2004

lol, DX means Direct eXchange BTW.

pseudosoldier

on Jul 13, 2004

Nice article. I had assumed from the title that it was a personal rule, and wondered how often you had to enforce it.

Negrodamus

on Jul 13, 2004

Thanks, I shall sleep better now.

Negrodamus

on Jul 13, 2004

I have nothing against trading undies. Which is why it is key to A)wear clean ones,

own a pear of chaps

chiprj

on Jul 13, 2004

You forgot rule #1 - when DX'ing or turning in TA-50 in Korea, always speak Korean and bring whiskey. It's two bottles of whiskey if you can't speak Korean.

greywar

on Jul 13, 2004

Angry K sounds like a good rap name.

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